London I

What does a person do when they graduate with no plans, no husband, no sense of identity and a finance degree? They move to a foreign country… alone. I found myself walking along the streets of London, alone and swept up in the crowd. Hating myself for buying a round trip ticket that would not be headed home for six months. I had no job, no place to live, no friends but I felt this unwavering sense that the Spirit of God was with me, in me… and excited. I was horrified and lonely and scared but the Spirit was full of anticipation and I could feel it. It was the fellowship of the Spirit. I had to be that alone to experience it.
I literally wandered the streets for two weeks. I was living in a hostel, filling out applications to wait tables and looking for an affordable place to live…umm, in London. I walked around in a daze most days. I lost a lot of weight because I couldn’t get comfortable eating alone in restaurants and I didn’t know how else to get food. I just walked and walked and consistently found myself in internet cafes. I would write out my misery to my friends. “Me again…I haven’t heard myself speak in two days. Wondering if its going to come out in a British accent.”
I stopped one day in a coffee shop, and not knowing what else to do, I started to journal. This entry read like a prayer. I basically wrote out my wish list to God. I want to move out of the dirty hostel and live in a place where I can unpack my bags and don’t have to padlock them when I leave. I want some friends…actual people that I can talk to and maybe eat with. I would like a job so that I can make back some of this money that I’ve been spending. Ummm…anything else?...no, that about covers it. I looked at my list and I thought about how helpless I felt, then that newly realized friend, the overly excitable Spirit in me, asked me a few things.
“What do you expect from this time?”
“Um, I don’t know, something different I guess.” I answered.
“Do you believe that God is in control here?”
“Sure.”
“You want to have some fun?”
“Always.”
“What if you let go of the list?”
I had never felt so helpless in my life, so I figured, what could I lose? I ended my prayer by saying. “You know God, this list is what I want and feel like I need for survival. But let’s forget that…I want what you want. Do whatever you have in mind and I’m along for the ride.”
This prayer initiated a sequence of events that I could never have guessed. That very night I sat down for dinner in the home of one of my high school teachers…my mom’s friend who had moved to London a few years back. She lived on Abbey Road in an apartment that felt like an American home as soon as you stepped in the door. She had a knack for dinner parties and laid out a spread complete with hors d’oeuvres, grilled fish and warm rolls. She and her husband patiently listened to me ramble on and on, letting out all the words I had pent up in me for so long.
I told them of my adventures at the hostel and finding a place to live. That morning I had visited a potential living arrangement. It was a good part of town, not too dangerous. I would be living with an elderly woman who used Jesus Christ as her favorite expression of angst. She smoked and we would be sharing a bathroom. She hoped that I wouldn’t be cooking much because she didn’t want to share her kitchen. I guess it could be worse. It was the only affordable place I could find in the safe parts of town. My mother’s friend wouldn’t hear of it. She invited me to stay with them until I found a place of my own. The next day I checked out of the hostel and stayed in a warm bed in a home.
The Texas Embassy Cantina finally gave me an interview. Their manager had been in America for the last few weeks and he was the only person who could hire anyone. Upon his return, I sat down with him, answered his questions and started training a few days later. I was finally going to fulfill one of my dreams…to be a waitress.
The office where I got my visa was out of the way of everything in London. From almost anywhere you had to take two different trains on the tube then walk five blocks turn the corner onto a small narrow street, walk under scaffolding and enter a discreet black door. Inside, you would find many young people from all over the world busily trying to find a job and a place to live. There were postings all over the walls and people scrambling, using computers and printing out resumes (CV’s as they call them in Britain). I started going up there with no excuse other than a little social interaction. I had looked at all their postings for places to live and wasn’t comfortable with any of them. Is it so strange that I don’t want to live with guys I don’t know? Does that make me square?
I sat across the table from a girl that I later found out was from Texas. She was busy looking for a job and a place to live. She came with a few friends from college. What a novel concept...bring friends with you…stupid. We exchanged numbers, but since she already had friends in London I did not expect her to call me.
Later that night in my cozy home on Abbey Road I got a call from my new friend. She and her two friends would like to know if I wanted to live with them because having four people would lower their rent. Umm…I think that would work for me too. We found a tiny apartment on the third floor of an ancient building. (pictured above) Below us there was a hip hop record store called Major Flava. It was on the corner of Oxford St. and Tottenham Court Rd., within walking distance from my new job.
That is how I found myself where I was for the next six months only days after I prayed that prayer. Lets check the list again and see what God had compared to what I had…
1. I want to move out of the hostel…
God gave me a warm home that night, and an affordable and safe place to live in the next few days.
2. I want some friends…
God gave me three friends and roommates, all from Texas, all Christian.
3. I want a job..
God gave me the one job I really wanted. I was going to be a waitress at the only Tex-Mex Restaurant in London…right in Trafalgar Square.
While I don’t believe that God’s will always gets us all we want and more… God’s will sometimes has nothing to do with what we want. I do think that He delighted that I listened to His Spirit and that in this case it was His joy to be my provider when I had no one to take care of me. If its not too irreverent…I feel like he was a dog that knew just what he wanted to do, was even salivating over it, and as soon as I threw the stick of my own control, he set off with his mission. He could have done it either way, but He really wanted me to trust Him with it. I jumped out of a plane and instead of making sure I was paying attention to altitude and pulling the cord at just the right time, I just strapped myself in tandem with the Lord and enjoyed the ride. And this was only the beginning.