Crooked Tree

My best friend and I are starting a business. That’s what Crooked Tree is. I started this blog thinking it would be a record of the ins and outs, ups and downs and general excitement of opening a coffee shop. Surprised even myself that I haven’t mentioned it until now. Current life is never as poetic as the past or the future. But don’t get me wrong, just because its not poetic doesn’t mean I’m complaining about where I am right now. Its just hard for me to write about without getting caught up in technical details about POS systems, the size of under counter fridges, and requirements for grease traps.
This time last year I was putting in my two months notice at the bank. My dreams of the coffee shop were still in the “let’s explore the idea so at least we can say we tried” phase. In between the projects my boss was dumping on me before I left, I was inadvertently searching the internet for commercial property for rent in the area and using our spreadsheets to plug in numbers that might or might not be typical sales figures for the average independent coffee shop. But it was still a pipedream. I was also looking into alternative certification programs for teaching high school students. You know, cast the net far but bring a snack along just in case.
Here I am a year later with both feet in this thing. I am never confident about anything. I can’t even be certain I’ve picked the right restaurant for dinner, the entire way there I’m looking around to make sure I didn’t rule out any options that might have been better. I won’t go into what that says about me and relationships. But I am sure about the coffee shop. Along the way we have run into so many delays and headaches and issues and difficult people and more delays, but never once have I doubted whether I should do this. I feel grounded in the reality of it all. I don’t think any of it is going to be easy. But I genuinely want to do it. I am so excited about the ways it is going to stretch me and keep me growing, the potential the place has… ways to contribute to the community and be a part of efforts going on all over the world.
Of all the hiccups so far the delays have bothered me more than anything. Whenever I talk to anyone about starting a coffee place, the first thing they ask is when it is going to open. In October I would have responded December. In December I would have responded March. Now that its March, its obvious it won’t happen until June at the earliest. I hate telling people something that is not true. Even though these are not intentional lies…there is this unbelievably strong fear in me of being unreliable. I’d almost rather be anything but unreliable.
I also hate these delays because my life is a case study on learning patience. Its kind of a cruel joke to build into someone this innate inability to wait on anything and then constantly give her situation after situation that requires enduring patience. I guess its discipline, like training a dog to race by making an electronic rabbit that runs one step faster. Just when I think I can’t wait anymore or I will burst, someone informs me it will be two more weeks. I go to my jar of oil to find that sure enough there is an adequate amount for today.
So here we are. Starting April with plans for construction, picking out equipment, furniture, food, logos, countertops, bathroom tile…oh yeah, and coffee. We have the house where it will be. Its sitting there empty and waiting. I go there sometimes just to look around again and envision what it will be like. Also, I think, so that it will sink in that this is really happening. The whole thing just seems too big for little me. But just when I’m starting to feel daunted, I get this feeling in my gut. I recognized the feeling the other day and tried to name it…then it came to me…one word…ambition. Its been a while since I have felt it, nothing was really worth it to me. And I look at the old house and sense that it is feeling it too. It was built in 1920 and has lived many lives already. Because it is in the Historic District, it will be preserved. Its pretty old to be starting something new, but I think its ready. I know I am.